In 1981 when I graduated from highschool there was no senior prom. I had never even heard of senior proms. It was not until I came to America in the mid 1980s that I saw teenagers going to highschool proms. At the time I could not appreciate all the effort that went into the events, maybe because I grew up in a country where proms were not a part of the culture.
I never knew the day would come when I would participate in a prom because I am now in my senior years and I honestly believed that proms were an unnecessary cost. However, life often brings us unexpected turn of events sometimes when we least expect. With age and illness, I have learned to appreciate some things that I once considered trivial.
After nine years of struggling with serious mental illnesses, loss of employment and being separated from family and friends, I began to question my purpose in life, especially after I moved back to New Jersey from Georgia a year and a half ago. I felt very isolated and needed to be among people who I could relate to. The challenge though was that major depression destroyed my motivation to participate in groups. I just had enough energy to take daily walks in a park adjacent to the house where I live.
On August 4th of this year after completing my walk, I noticed that there was a health fair happening at the community center in the middle of the park. I decided to browse through the stalls and then I sat on one of the benches outside in the sun. That’s the day I met Connie, a senior citizen with beautiful white hair. She told me that there was a senior program inside the community center and invited me to come the following Monday.
I’ve been going to the senior program for the last eight weeks even when I did not believe I could make it. Then about a month ago, they announced that they were going to have a senior prom for the seniors in the area. I really had no interest in attending until we were asked to create our own face masks. For about three days I watched as we painted our masks and glued on brightly colored feathers and shiny gold and silver sequins. As the day drew closer, I started to feel connected and developed a desire to participate in the event on September 29th. I said to myself as I’ve been for the last nine years, “if I wake up and I can walk, I will go!”
Although dealing with many health challenges, I walked into the Westside Community Center yesterday for the 2023 Senior (Citizen) Prom. I saw many seniors including Connie seated at their table. After having dinner and watching people dancing for a while I still wondered what was the purpose of a senior prom. But it wasn’t until the MC asked the audience how many of them had attended their highschool prom and about fifty percent of the people in the room held up their hands, that I realized I had even more in common with the group. For whatever reason, almost half of the senior citizens present had never been to a prom.
I think I now understand why the organizers sponsored the senior citizen prom and crowned a Prom Queen and King. For the last two months I met Harrison, a very sweet and kind octogenarian. He danced the entire evening even though he took frequent breaks from the dancefloor. He beamed with pride after they announced him the King and placed the crown on his head. This was a significant event in our lives.
September 30, 2023 at 12:43 pm
Living day by day and step by step, whilst being “present”. Sage advice Ann-Marie. I had no idea you were now living in New Jersey. Let me know if I can pass by on Nov 10 when returning from Jamaica en route to Nairobi.
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
September 30, 2023 at 12:57 pm
Literally living step by step my sister.
You can visit me anytime.
September 30, 2023 at 1:00 pm
Dear Ann-Marie: it’s lovely to read this post, as I am a senior citizen myself of course! I retired 11 years ago from the Embassy. I think we should have something like this in Jamaica. Caribbean Community of Retired Persons (CCRP) did have a dance and games party recently, which went down well. I am glad you made the effort to go to this event and felt more “connected.” It’s important! Take care.
September 30, 2023 at 1:10 pm
Oh Petchary. It’s so good to hear from you after all these years. I hope you are enjoying your retirement. Many seniors are very active and productive into their eighties.
The reality for me is that mental illnesses advanced my age so that I can relate to those who are decades ahead of me.
September 30, 2023 at 1:15 pm
I understand. I am 72 years old now and hubby will be 80 next year! I understand that mental illness can age you. I went through a very bad patch myself about 10 years ago but managed to drag myself out of it although I still have “dark days” which my other half thankfully understands now. Writing is my good therapy (take a look on Substack, where I post “mini journal” entries daily, and my blog).